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June 26 2017

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As someone who’s clueless about cards AND am a visual learner… thank you for this!

Reposted bymarxenhash



Sometimes people like to write things about florist’s shops.  Here are two things you need to know, the most egregiously wrong things.

1. It makes no fucking sense to sketch out a bouquet before you make it.  Every individual flower is different in a way that cannot really be adjusted the way other building materials can be adjusted, and each individual bouquet is unique.  Just put the fucking flowers together.

2. No one — in months and months of working at the flower shop — has ever cared what the flower/color of the flower means.  No one’s ever asked.  It’s just not something people tend to care about outside of fiction and it’s certainly not something most florists know.  You know what florists know?  What looks good and is thematically appropriate.

Here’s an actual list of the symbology of flowers, as professionals use it:

Yellow – for friends, hospitals
Pink – girls, girlfriends, babies, bridesmaids
Red – love
Purple – queens
White – marriage and death (DO NOT SEND TO HOSPITALS)
Pink and purple – ur mum
Red, orange, and yellow – ur mum if she’s stylish
Red, yellow, blue – dudes and small children
Blue and white – rare, probably a wedding
Red and white – love for fancy bitches

Here are what the flowers actually mean to a florist:

The Fill It Out flowers:

Carnations – fuck u these are meaningless filler-flowers, not even your administrative assistant likes them, show some creativity
Alstroemeria – by and large very similar to carnations but I like them better
Tea roses – cute and lil and come several to a stalk, a classy filler flower
Moluccella laevis – filler flower but CHOICE
Delphinium – not as interesting as moluccella but purple so okay I guess
Blue thistle – FUCK YEAH, some fucking textural variety at last!  you’re getting this for a dude, aren’t you?
Chrysanthemums – barely better than carnations but better is still better
Gladiolus – ooh, risky business, someone understands the use of the Y-axis, very good

Focal points:

Long-stem roses – yeah whatever
Lilies – LBD, looks good with everything, get used as often as possible
Hydrangeas – thirsty fuckers, divas of the flower world and rightly so, treat them right and they make you look good
Gerbera daisies – the rose’s hippie cousin, hotter but no one admits it
Peonies – CHA-CHING, everybody’s absolute favorite but you need guap
Orchids – if this isn’t for a wedding you’re probably trying too hard but they’re expensive so keep ordering them

You know what matters?  THE CUSTOMER’S BUDGET.  THAT’S TELLING.

-$20 – if you’re not under 12, fuck off, get your sugar something else
$30 – good for bouquets but an arrangement will be lame
$40 – getting there, there’s something that can be done with that.  you can get some gerbs or roses with that and not have them look stupidly solo.
$50 to $70 – tolerable
$80 – FINALLY.  It sounds elitist but this really is the basic amount of money you should expect to spend on an arrangement that matters.  That’s your Mother’s Day arrangement.  You’re probably not going to spend $80 on a bouquet.
$90 to $130 – THE GOOD SHIT, you’re likely to get some orchids
$130+  – Weddings and death.  This amount of money gets you a memorial arrangement or a handmade bridal bouquet.  Don’t spend this on a Mother’s Day or a Babe I Love You arrangement, buy whosits a massage or something.


  • Everything needs greening and if you don’t think that you’re an idiot. 
  • As a new employee, when you start making arrangements, you can’t see the mistakes you’re making because you’re brand new and you’re learning an art form from the ground up.
  • With a few exceptions customers don’t have a clear plan in mind.  They want you to develop the bouquet for them.  They want something that will delight their little sweetbread but you’re lucky if they know that person’s favorite color, let alone flower.
  • Flower shops don’t typically have every kind of flower in every kind of color.  Customers generally aren’t assed about that.  Most people don’t care about the precise shade of the rose or having daffodils in July, because they’re not boning up on flower language before they buy.  That would imply that they’ve got a clear bouquet in mind and, again, they don’t.
  • Being a florist is essentially a lot like what I imagine being a mortician is about.  You’re basically keeping dead things looking good for as long as possible.  You keep the product in the fridge so it doesn’t rot and look horrible by the time the family gets a whack at it, and in the meanwhile you put it in a nice container.

Anyway that’s flowers.

this is magnificent and I love hearing about ppl job feilds

Reposted bymolotovcupcakeschaaf
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Personally, my favorite Duckmancer class spell is “vomit ducks”. It’s pretty versatile (does swarm damage, is immune to water spells) and it adds a lot of flavor to a campaign.

My Websitemy Facebook page – see me on Webtoon!

is it only ducks? or can you use other types of waterfowl?

like…. swans?

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Fighting for King and Empire: Britain’s Caribbean Heroes - BBC


I watched this it was the best thing!

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Reposted byniee niee


make no mistake: banning Jews from the dyke march is not about support for palestine. it’s about holding jews globally accountable for the actions of israel. which is antisemitic.

banning queer jews from safe queer spaces is antisemitic. 

deciding whether a jew is “good” or “bad” based on interrogation about zionism is antisemitic.

leftists need to stop being f*#%ing antisemitic.



in this house we don’t depression nap we depression watch the same handful of tv shows on repeat until you can feel ur soul leave your body

reblog this w ur depression shows in the tags mine are psych, house md, and brooklyn nine nine



Can y'all stop with the condescending & patronizing “trans boys are soft smol bean and need to be protected uwu precious little princes uwuuuwuwu so smol” bullshit yet or?

Even as a trans woman who pretty much only stays in trans women’s spaces, I can see the infantilization of trans dudes from fucking here. Y'all need to fucking stop. It’s tied in with fetishizing and yaoi-fangirling mlm’s relationships. I’m sorry this is a thing.

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aw look guys the magic money tree finally blossomed

Arlene Foster straight up looks like she’d ban dancing if she could


June 06 2017


im a putlocker man at heart but sometimes you just gotta settle for gorillavid


Ford Pines, months after Weirdmageddon, smacking his forehead suddenly: UGHHHH! “BIZARREMAGEDDON”!!!! It was RIGHT THERE!!! It was right there why didn’t I

you wanna know my kink??? 🤔😜😝💦😍🙈


harry styles supporting a queer girl band that made an anti-trump single

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Reposted byarachnephobicKanisterlefuStorvopperZerthinwymiotmoppie
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Yondu likes cute lil things ♥︎ (he probably went around collect them to cheer young Peter up and then it becomes a habit)

Reposted bymolotovcupcakeschaaf
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Cassetteboy VS Theresa May

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this post is driving me insane. what the fuck was this person actually sending that student because they obviously edited in the word “pants” and that picture of pants. why pants. what the fuck


this is my favourite meme and up until this moment i legit didnt even think this wasnt the original. i. i didnt even think this was edited. how could i have been so dumb


instead of that “write an about me” meme going around, people should write a review, like on the back of a book cover, about me and i’ll put it on my blog. 


  • she is so cool - anonymous
  • definitely not thirsty - anonymous
  • who are you and why are you in my house? - my mum


Me realising I’m now an adult with actual responsibilities

Reposted byniee niee
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Surprise graduation present is golden. [full video]


things i need in life:

•dan howell to wear his pastel pyjamas
•daniel howell to wear his pastel pyjamas
•dan to wear those pyjamas that are pastel
•dan + pastel pyjamas
•d a n i e l + p a s t e l p y j a m a s

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